hell yes lets make some ravioli
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
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I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
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I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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