I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
