I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
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Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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