WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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