Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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