He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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