Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
