As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I'm really busy with my period
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