I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Randomize
