airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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