i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
