He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Randomize