Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize