Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
