I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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