I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize