i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
