Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
