that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
