Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
