he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
