I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
