I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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