I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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