I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Princesses don't give blow jobs
people are starting to question the shark bite story
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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