Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
