I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
