why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
