we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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