I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
