Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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