o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
