I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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