sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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