I must be too annoying 4 u.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
