FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
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so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
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Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
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