I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I think i got beer on your cat.
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