So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
