It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
