what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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