Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
