If i come over, it means nothing
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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