sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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