Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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