Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
