Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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