is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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