how hairy? two words: wookie tits
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
