Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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