so explain again why im purple
no
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
