is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Buhtt sex?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
