The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
