I don't think brook has ever known best
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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