I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
