you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
