Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
