I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
