Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
