I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
