If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize