he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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