I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I think I died a long time ago.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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