Can Purell be used as lube?
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
